Older Daughter’s Question

By spoonfork38

“Mommy?  Why are you so fat?”

“Because that’s the way I’m built.  We have a lot of large, strong women in our family. . . And I also dieted a lot when I was younger, and dieting can make you even bigger.”

“Did you like how I did at the recital tonight?”

“Yes.  You played really, really well!  I’m so proud of you!  Will you play for Grandma and Grandpa at Thanksgiving?”

“Sure.  And Daddy said I didn’t eat too much at the redemption.”

“Reception.  You don’t have a tummyache, right?  Then you did just fine.  You do know that the reason we told you to choose only two special things is because we didn’t want you to get overheated and excited and overfull–like the reunion?”

“I didn’t throw up this time.”

“Exactly.  Good job taking care of yourself.”

“Thanks, Mommy.  Can I have a lipbalm kit for my birthday, like I gave Holly for hers?”

“Let’s see how she likes it first.  If she thinks it’s really great, then we’ll put it on your list.”

“Okay.  Night, Mommy.”

“Good night, honey.”

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5 Responses to “Older Daughter’s Question”

  1. Cleric at Large Says:

    It’s never, ever just one questions is it?

    Your older daughter sounds delightful. Blessings on you both as you navigate towards adulthood.

  2. Steve Says:

    That was lovely.

  3. Trabb's Boy Says:

    I agree with Steve. That was lovely. Just like in your book — fatness is as big a deal as lip balm. Utterly unFRAUGHT.

    I also love that you include “strong” in your answer. I was just thinking this morning about the fat people I know and how absolutely none of them are greedy or lazy or slobby (except me on the last one). Growing up, I associated fatness with strength, arrogance, bigger-than-life-ness, based on the people I happened to know that were fat. I didn’t learn until my teen years that fat people were supposed to be so pathetic. There’s a lot to learn from people who don’t know so much.

  4. Erin Says:

    as a recoviering bulima who suddenly has 2 girls aged 6-7 i am scared shitless i am going to somehow give them my eating disorder. (as if it were catching) This sounds so …NORMAL!

    Kudos and thanks for the “advice”

    • spoonfork38 Says:

      You’re very welcome, although I want to state that I don’t know what I’m doing a large percentage of the time, and moments like these are the miracle, not the norm!

      I’m also frightened that I will give my kids my food issues–or that they’ll absorb them from the media and their peers. It’s easier for me to work on size-acceptance, though, since I know my children are both beautiful, and I mean to help establish this in their own core beliefs.

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